June 24, 2015

FINALLY! This week we broke through that invisible wall which separated Piper from her bipedal peers.  She is officially WALKING, my friends.  It feels like a relief and I can already see myself buying her a few more clothing items now that I feel confident they won't be dragged across the ground incessantly.  Perhaps there will be a little dragging here and there, but I was going on 3 clothing changes per day if any outdoor outings were involved and, quite frankly, I'm just not that kind of mom.  I disdain high maintenance anything.  I usually don't even wear pyjamas because I feel like they're restrictive and unneccessary.  Perhaps the entire internet didn't need to know about me not wearing PJs but my BABY CAN WALK SO WHO CARES?!?

Let me give you some insight into my opinions on transitions like these for babies:

Going from not moving at all to crawling/scooting/sliding/shuffling is like a sneaky fine print on your gym membership.  You have in your mind's eye this image of your happy-sweat beading down your newly chiseled abs that are exposed because you're finally confident enough to wear one of those ridiculous running bras in public.  It seems like a really great idea.  A contract for one year so you will HAVE to work out and therefore 'chip chip chip' away go the abs and even kale salad seems like a good idea.  Then you realize that in order to actually shovel aside your muffin top you'll need to wake up at 5am to GO to the gym or fight traffic then stand in line for the machines after work or peel yourself away from any one of Shonda Rimes' brilliant dramatic television shows later on after dinner.  None of these options seems really that attractive on a daily basis so the muffin top stays but 80 bucks a month is flying away like a feather in the wind.  Then, when you realize that you are just going to embrace your shape and go for a walk after dinner but before Scandal, the awful truth becomes apparent.  This inconvenience cannot be reversed because you signed this contract binding you to part with your money and offering you nothing in return except a guilt trip every time you pass the YMCA.  

That is what crawling is like.  The idea of it is like "Oh my goodness, this will be amazing!".  Then it happens and they aren't where you left them when you went to the bathroom and you find them rooting through the garbage and drinking the leftover drips from the beer cans in the recycling bin.  And then it happens - you want out but you can never get out.  You can never go back to that little non mobile piece of decorative cute.  Queue heartbreak and fury.

Something you may not know about me is that I'm a quick runner.  I might not be very good at running quickly for a long time, but I am briefly very quick.  Running after a walking little 2.5 foot tall mute doesn't scare me.  So, after all that, having a baby transition to walking is less jarring than acquiring a crawler.  It seems malignant and full of inconvenience but really its actually pretty peaceful.  Happy Zen Wednesday.  

Ps: As you may notice, that picture does not involve walking and it is of the crappy cell phone variety.  This week I hid my battery charger from Piper and simultaneously hid it from myself.  Dope.

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